F&F

Family and friends are like the two peas in the pod for me. Friends are fun to hang out with, good advices and support. Family they support, help out and keep us safe. I believe that both are beautiful and these are the things I am thankful for.

Friends are the important role in my life and i wish they could stay the same. With me, friendship is the thing that could last for a life time. But in my case that will probably never happen to me. My family works and lives abroad. I lived with my grandmother when I was a kid and I moved aboard several years later to live with my parents . I am the kind of person who always forget things but there are those things which I thought that was a special thing, I always keep them in mind and think about it no matter how small they were. I don’t have many memories at that time for now but I still remember the 8 years old who was my neighbor, that time I was 5 years old I guess. He is the only one in my neighborhood that I talked with. I must told that I was such a delightful and noisy kid at kindergarten but I don’t know somehow that kid disappear when I went back home. I became shy and speechless. The first conversation of me and that kid was about marriage. He said he would marry me because I seemed quiet and didn’t talk much as his mother. He told me that his mother was talking all the time, she raved about everything with his father and with him too. I didn’t reply and went back inside my house. The next day when my grandmother came pick me up at the kindergarten, I saw that kid went with my grandmother, I asked her why he was with us, she said because his parents were busy and couldn’t pick him up. That was the time we started to talk, and we became friends gradually. After a year I had to move to another city, we promised to keep in touch and I would come back to visit him. But it was 2005 and I was 6, he was 9 years old. How could we keep in touch ? After 2 years, I came back to that town to visit people there with my grandmother, I did ask about him and his family via our neighbors and they said his family moved to another city too. That was the first time I lost contacts with the person I cared about. That time i was 8 years old. Maybe I am a bit weird and more mature a bit compare to another kids because I have a bit complicated  family background. Then i went back from that town after few days there to where I have been living. When I was 10 I had to move to another primary school because of my parents’s work. As I said, I was 10 and it was 2009, I wasn’t allowed to use phone or another network social medias. That was how i lost contact with my first primary school’s friend. As the fear of I will have to move again, I didn’t make many new friends at my second primary school because I was afraid of losing contacts with them. Trust me, that feeling was so terrible to get used to. But yea, thing went like that day by day, I had some friends in my class, not like in the old school, i knew all the people in that school and they knew about me too. Nothing was really interesting during my primary school time. Finally it came the day I went to secondary school, there were some old friends from my old class studied at the same school with me but wasn’t same class. We did talk a few times at first and then we started to have new friends and all we did were just a wave or a smile when we came across each other. At the first year of secondary school, I thought I didn’t have to move anymore because my parents’s work was going well and it was 4 years since I last moved. I started to be open, friendly and sociable again, I made a lot of friends, did a lot of things, both good and bad things. You could find me anytime in the school discipline detention room anytime. Actually, I did everything for a reason. My excuse that time was I want the attention of my parents. They work all the time and they weren’t in all the school holidays. All my friends have their parents to come for them, I had my grandmother ( of course I love her too but that’s  different) or my mama to come with me. Things were so awesome, I loved the atmosphere, the environments, the people at my secondary school at lot then at the last year of s.s, i had to move, yea so surprised. I was like crying everyday and asked them to not make me move again, i don’t want to meet or make any new friends anymore. I don’t want to start to deal with the new neighborhood, the new people, the new environment anymore. But that was hopeless. I had to move with them anyway, I was so mad at them by the time and I start to be so quiet again when I’m at home which I already was. Of course that time people started to use Facebook and so on, i had my friend’s facebook too. We were like talked everyday but less day by day because everyone has another life when they do not see each other. I hated my life a lot that time. It was like the first time when I moved to another primary school. At my new high school I didn’t talk, didn’t join any clubs of school or did anything with the groups. I had no friends for 2 years I guess, even people did come by and talk to me but I was really mean and moody. At my junior year of high school, of course things had to change, it wasn’t because I had no friends and I felt lonely. It was because my classmates were so friendly and cute, I didn’t want to hurt people with my meanness, and also because of that I started to get used to the new neighborhood and stuffs gradually. I joined in every clubs of school, talked a lot and did a lot of volunteering works. My best thing when I was doing volunteer was when I worked in one of the orphanages in my currently city. I am still keeping in touch with them now. My junior and senior years of high school were totally perfect. I have also made a lot of new friends who weren’t from school but in pubs or bars or whatever. ( A lot of people say that I look such a nice girl because of my appearance, actually they weren’t wrong 100%, i was such a nice girl like that but things and stuffs happened and everything changed, i changed a lot too, I admit it. I started to drink and smoke when I was 17 years old. I still drink now but I quitted smoking after few weeks I started.

Family is the important thing that I am living for now. I have a lot of relative but actually I have never met my father’s side at all. I know the death when in some months someone called by and said one of my relative was dead. I have never met them but I did feel sad I am sure of that. I just knew them from the stories that my grandma told me about them, from the conversation that my parents talked about them. My biggest death in the family that hurted and still hurts me the most was when my father passed away. I could’t believe at all at the time. I didn’t  react to anything all the people around me were talking. I couldn’t do anything at all. i just didnt comprehend it. How could a person just not be there anymore ? My Dad was the best person and he was the person I love the most in my family, for forever. But people do say when death pass, a new life is born. I hope he is at the better place now when this world is getting more crazier. I will stop talking about him because I am not sure I can keep my tears in if I keep talking about him.

2 thoughts on “F&F

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s