Today I want to visit a subject that’s a little more personal, a little more serious and a little more different from what I typically write or talk about. I know that a lot of people including myself don’t open up about this so much because this is a little deeper. To be honest I kind of just avoid the communication when it turns to emotion and feeling. I did not realize that how important it is to communicate and talk about what you feel, how you are actually. In the past month, I had a chance to talk about it with one of my friends, which surprised me the most is every topic of my conversation with her just came in a natural way that I did not expect it to be this “clicked”. The reason is that I have opened up to her more than anyone else ever (beside Richie) and I just know her recently but we skipped all those awkward phrases you know when you got to know new people. So like I had a chance to talk about mental health and everything relates to emotions and feeling. I felt relief when I was actually done talking about it with her. With Richie, it took almost half a year for me to actually open up to him. This morning when I woke up I kind of wanted to just embrace it and address it a head-on because I know that a lot of people out there in the world deal with mental health and personal troubles every single day. I just wanted to allow people to understand that we are all human and that we all connect in some way and everyone is able to relate somehow.
The past few months for me have been kind of tougher because I definitely have lost a bit of my confidence and I guess I could say that I am not where I want to be in life right now. I know that it’s pretty common in the 20s. I mean even older you know, not everyone knows what they want to do in their life and I don’t feel like that’s a bad thing because everyone is on a different journey but for me it’s definitely been super hard because I feel like I’ve always felt a little lost and I’ve never really known where I wanted to be in life and I’ve been kind of just floating through it lol. I want to talk about that and about how everyone is on a journey and there are ways to overcome your personal struggles and if you are not going through this then I’m sure that you can also relate somehow because this feeling that I have is not a rare thing that only I have and I know that a lot of people in the world feel this way. So, let’s dive into these tips that I have to care for your mental health.
The first tip I have is to just keep an open mind and to remember that this is just a segment of your life. It’s a tiny little crumb in comparison to your whole life. Everyone is going to overcome these humps, it’s just a matter of time. I remember that good things take time and you just have to be patient (which I also need to work on more) wait it out and remember that this doesn’t define who you are, it doesn’t define how your life has become, it’s not over yet and you are fully capable of overcoming whatever obstacle you are going through right now and you are fully deserving of what you want and you are fully deserving of happiness and I know that I am too so I just keep that in mind, remember it and embrace it out loud every single day and tell yourself that this is just a little piece of your entire puzzle and you are going to get through it.
The second tip I have is to be positive and I know that sounds really cliché but I truly believe that if you think it, it will become in your existence. So just attract what you want to have happen to you. If you want positive friends then be the positive person. Just think it into existence u know, just send it into the universe. That’s my thing recently and kind of sending messages to the universe because I feel like the universe will come back to me and allow me to have what I want. Like when I’m driving and I want to look for a parking spot I think to myself I’m gonna have the vip parking in the front of the place and I’m not even gonna have to struggle for it ( except for the parking itself, I’m sucks at driving). I feel like just having that mindset, just knowing that you are gonna have a positive mindset on even the littlest things definitely is so important in actually coming into existence. So, like when you send it out into the universe, the universe will send it back to you.
The third tip that I have is to practice gratitude and this is something that I have taken. It’s my everyday life as of maybe like a year ago lol but every little thing that gets me down or makes me angry, frustrates me I just remember the flip side to it. I think I am grateful to even have this object, I’m grateful to even have this problem, to have all these things that surround me right now and being in this position in this whole entire world. I’m grateful for it. I remember when I dropped my phone in the grocery store and that really made me mad and I feel like it kind of was this domino effect of negative thoughts and I was like “damn I don’t want to have to get a new phone, I can’t afford it right now, I can’t figure out how I’m gonna get the money to afford it bla bla” and it was just going on and on so I stopped all that and I said well I’m grateful that I even have this phone. I really am because I know that its cracked but I can still use it. I can still have this luxury that not a lot of people in the world have and that is what I’m grateful for. And 2 weeks later I got a new one from my sister.
The four tip is to surround yourself with positive people and create a safe space where you can speak with your friends and family about your problems. I have people who are close to me but to be honest I find it really hard to open up about anything that is personal matter. But as I said in the beginning, when I started to talk about it to my friend, it was just like I dropped this heavy weight that I have always carried with me my whole life lmao and it felt just really good to talk about things that are actually matter. I’m so grateful for people who listen and I also enjoy listening to them talking and we just have this conversation where I feel like I’m not alone. Richie (my ex-boyfriend) is the first person I talked to (still talk because we stay friends) when I have problems and I feel like he’s really helped me keep positive about my situation even when I’m crying crazily and endlessly (the only person that I can actually cry like cry cry without feeling awkward or feel that I have to hold myself back). I feel like it’s just a place where I can go to and I can feel safe and I can just open up about what things are happening. We are not together anymore but I am sure that I will always love him, not as a lover but as a friend, yes. Once the relationship is over, I move on. Which was very hard to do but for me it was easier I mean not quite easier but more like more serene than it was for him because he is the emotional one and I am more on to the logical side. And I kind of got over him towards the end of the relationship because when we started we both know that this is what gonna happens and I just kind of accepted the fact before he does. Towards the end of the relationship, I was prepared and ready to leave but I was still trying to make the best out of the situation and enjoy as much as I still could while he was still here. But like you know in my head I was kind of ready and that we are out of the relationship a little bit. Like you know I loved him a lot but I feel like in the end I was not really in love like that anymore. I was being honest with him about how I felt, it did hurt him when I told him but he was very mature and understanding and he respected me enough to accept my decision not to try long distance and that’s how we stays friends. To be honest, for me I did not really want to stay friends because how you are gonna get over someone if you two still keep in touch and talk to each other everyday. As I am more on to the logical side, I can control my feeling and not that I have to force myself to get over him but I know that there is no good outcome for me if I still get my mind on it so I kind of do what best for me, but I know for him it will be really hard that’s why I didn’t really like this stay friends idea. But everything is just a matter of time. I’m so glad that we remain friends. No matter what happens, he will always a part of my life.
Okay so that was a little off topic lol anw
The fifth tip I have is to get active and I am the last person to tell anyone to go work out but as recently I started doing yoga with my mom and I set an intention for myself, I kind of reflex on how my days go and I am having this work out. I have been trying to go to the gym but like I did not really go there in this past 2 months because my gym is so far away from where I live and close to my university. I will for sure start to go back to the gym when school starts again but till then I try to do work out at home whenever I can, I sweat and I’m doing well for my body as well. Physical health is just as important as mental health and when you take the time to really put effort into those things, it helps tremendously in way that nothing else can touch. There’s no other way for me to feel like I am empowered I have strength like when I work out you know. I really have been grateful for the opportunity to do it as often as I can whenever I want and I’m just so happy that I have am exercise that I actually enjoy doing.
Last thing that I have is to take up a hobby that you actually enjoy doing. Just take your mind off what is going on in your life and set time for yourself to just take a break. Pause time, do what you like and lift yourself back up. My personal hobby that I have thoroughly enjoyed this past year is reading and I feel like it just allows me to escape my own mind, get out of whatever funk I’m going through and put myself in a different world, follow someone else’s life for a second, get out of whatever is suing in your brain. I also enjoy the fact that reading allows you to kind of find people who also talk about topics that you might be going through. For example, I’ve been reading or I have read in the past self-help books and I feel like it just empowers me so much and leaves me feeling confident. It lets me forget about myself doubts because then I feel like a strong independent woman who can do everything. I want to emphasize that mental health I just as important as physical health and both me time and effort in order to feel your best self.
These are some books I have read that are kind of related to this topic and I find them really helpful for me :
Emotional Intimacy Book by Robert Augustus Masters: Teaches you emotional intelligence so we can all stop pretending we don’t have feelings and be real functional human being.
The four agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz : Give you 4 simple rules for staying unbothered in life
Letting go by david Hawkins: Great for letting go of the past, limiting beliefs, raise your vibration
Atomic habits by James Clear : Make good habits that you can actually stick to and break bad ones
PS: If you want ebook of these books, then contact me so I can I send them to you.
And these are movies that involves mental health which I enjoyed watching.
(btw this website is full of ads lol but I don’t have it on my Netflix)
Punch Drunk Love 2002 (social anxiety disorder)
The perks of being a wallflower 2012 (PTSD)
Black Swan 2010 (Psychosis)
The breakfast club 1985 (“This movie provides many examples of social psychology and how it shapes relationships between people forced to interact. Several examples of social psychology are contained including in-group bias, scapegoat theory, and social loafing”)